drug addiction movies 223. Helping Using Addicts: Shaming Versus Grace - Connection Not Hostility

2-16-2019 at 6:07am EST

A bit of a rant regarding my perception that there are a lot of shaming tactics going on, particularly from those who have found "recovery" from drug addiction to those who are still desperately caught up in their addictions. Also from other persons, of course. I strongly believe that experiencing connection and receiving generous love are the keys to climbing out of the addiction pit.

I firmly believe that shaming, fear-mongering, criticism and condemnation serve only to further bury struggling addicts into the ground. Being clean doesn't make anyone a "better" addict than those who use. We are all human beings who deserve compassion and empathy.

Feel free to take this personally or otherwise get mad at me. Maybe you're the one who needs to hear this most. Yes, I stand up for the "underdog," even if you think that makes me an asshole.

Acceptance is what these people need as they so desperately grapple to come to a self-acceptance of their own. Recovery literature also emphasizes the importance of self-acceptance. A person's self-acceptance is not built by telling that person what a piece of shit they are, even if by lesser words.

That's my take, as someone who devoted 11 years of hard-working participation to a 12-step fellowship and chose to leave the program in my own desperation with 7.5 years clean.

I have seen this supposed “tough love” pushed onto myself and many others. I experienced firsthand that such approaches made my struggle immensely harder on many occasions. I’ve seen many others breaking under it, as well. So yes, I have something to say about that.

Note: I DO BELIEVE THAT 12 STEP PROGRAMS HAVE GREAT VALUE TO MANY ADDICTS, as they did to me. I am in no way saying that every aspect of these programs is harmful -not by any stretch of the imagination. I am simply acknowledging that these programs are not perfect, and that this is one major way in which I feel that the fellowship (at least in my own locality) is failing many addicts who simply have been unable to find their help in these programs.

drug addiction movies 223. Helping Using Addicts: Shaming Versus Grace - Connection Not Hostility
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